It's Written in the Stars: Coming Home to Who I've Always Been
Every year as October rolls in, something in me slows down. My birthday is on its way, and I always take a moment to look back at the year and at my life. I want to see how far I've come and remember why I do what I do.
And this year? It has been an incredible, incredible year. My business keeps growing. I keep meeting beautiful, magical people to create with. Some ideas land, some don't, but the core of what I want to do and who I want to become has stayed steady.
"I don't even know what I'm doing"
Here's a little secret. People often tell me, "You're doing amazing!" And my honest answer is usually, "Thank you… I don't even know what I'm doing."
Because I don't follow a map. I follow a light. An energy. I trust the process. Some decisions have been better than others, and those are the lessons that teach me what not to do again.
For as long as I can remember, I've questioned myself, because my path has never looked like anyone else's. My friends and family mostly have what we'd call "real jobs." And I've had those too.
In high school, I took an accounting class and I was good at it. So I figured I'd be an accountant. I pictured the business suit, the heels, the briefcase, maybe even a life in the Big Apple.
Within a month of starting college, I found out I was pregnant at 19. And everything shifted.
I became a mom. Their dad and I took it seriously and made sure we were there to get our boys on and off the bus. I worked around their schedule, mostly waitressing. I became a personal trainer, and that's where I found my passion for helping people reach their goals. For years after that, I held a steady job helping people get their bodies and their lives back.
The mud before the lotus
Somewhere in the middle of all of that, life got hard. Two marriages ended. I realized I had a drinking problem, and sobriety became the focus of my life. To stay sober, everything had to change, so I poured myself into healing and into yoga.
Then came a three-year relationship with a narcissist. It started out amazing, as they so often do, and it changed quickly. I completely lost myself. One day I didn't even recognize the woman in the mirror.
I made a plan. I left. And then I did the hardest healing of my life.
I used everything I had: breath, yoga, meditation, journaling, all of it. Slowly, step by step, I became a Reiki Master. I trained in Transformational Connective Breathwork. I became a medical intuitive.
And here's what I learned. I had to heal the energy that was never processed in my body. The old stories. The way I felt about myself. That's why I kept tolerating relationships that didn't honor me. Once I healed it, I simply couldn't accept being treated that way anymore.
Then I looked at my birth chart
Recently, I had my birth chart read, and I just sat there thinking, wow… this is exactly me.
Scorpio Sun ♏ is the transformer. Death and rebirth, depth, rising from the ashes. That's been my whole life.
Gemini Moon and Gemini Rising ♊ are the curious mind and the communicator. I have always needed to learn and then share what I've learned.
Aquarius Midheaven ♒ is the innovator and community builder. Of course my path doesn't look like everyone else's. It was never meant to.
Venus in Virgo is the devoted helper, which explains that deep pull to serve.
North Node in Capricorn is the builder and self-leader. It's the woman I'm growing into, one brick at a time.
My life is about transformation. Coming out of the mud into the lotus. Rising from the ashes like the phoenix. Moving like Kundalini energy from the root all the way up to the crown.
Yes, we have free will. But these are the places where I thrive. And they explain why I'm so deeply emotional and so deeply called to help. I didn't learn these tools just to learn them. I learned them because I needed them to heal, and then I chose to share them.
Why I do what I do
So now I help women feel their feels and move the energy their bodies are holding, even when they don't know it's there.
Sometimes that's the dynamic release of breathwork. Sometimes it's the softer medicine of sound and Reiki. And sometimes it's an intuitive reading, connecting with your higher self to find the belief systems and old energy keeping you stuck. Some days I still can't believe I get to do this.
It's just my story, and that's enough
I'll be honest. Sometimes I think, other people have been through so much worse. What makes my story special?
It isn't. It's just my story. And we all have one.
What has changed is this: I've come to love, acceptance, grace, and compassion for who I was, who I am, and who I'm still becoming. I don't need to be like everyone else. I don't need to wish I'd chosen a different path. This is who I am, and it was written in the stars.
And I know there is so much more ahead. So much more.
So this birthday month, I'd love to invite you to do the same. Look back at how far you've come. Honor the mud that grew your lotus. And maybe even peek at your own chart. You might find yourself saying, oh… this is why I am the way I am.
In your divine time 🦋
Ananda Priti
picture credit: by Josh Rubin
